Sadly, Comedy Central is apparently forcing Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert to return to work on Jan. 7, even if the writers' strike continues. Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien are also returning to the air. I'm a strong union supporter, and plan to boycott Leno and O'Brien for a long time after the strike ends. However, I love the Daily Show and the Colbert Report. Therefore, I'd like to make an offer to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert to appear on their scab shows. Here's why: since I am unattractive, poorly dressed, and completely unknown, nothing could help send the ratings spiraling downward more than putting me on the air. In addition, because I have no hope of making any deals with Viacom, I am perfectly free to say what everyone thinks about Viacom executives. In addition, I really need to sell my books.